Thursday, July 23, 2009

"Maywheel the Pirate"

July 23rd, 2009 | by detfan1979 |

A couple of weeks ago, after the Gerald Alexander trade, I made mention of trying to get my sea legs. Mayhew and Schwartz are still at it — making waves, and building the rosters.

The running joke on this blog has been that Matt Millen was obsessed with Lionel Model Trains. WR who went “fast like choo-choo” enamored him. He was the engineer of the Lions Express on a one-way track to disaster. The Lions were always running on a mindless track to a different destination. First, he would be running the West Coast Express with the Bend-don’t-break caboose. Then when the locomotive started getting out of control, he switched up conductors to the Mooch Hotel Luxury Liner. After that trip ran out of steam, he hopped on the Rod Marinelli T2 Locomotive hauling around the Greatest Train on the Tracks. Finally, after a messy decoupling, the T2 Locomotive went off a cliff further weighted down by the Colletto Cars it was lugging behind…

Along the way, a myriad of different crew were brought on board, and shoved off the train. “Specialists” were needed to run each type of train…since they were so complicated that only the right crew could understand them, and it would take a lot of time. There was no wheeling or dealing or deviating from the track — And when Millen did trade, it was more throwing those dirty rotten train robbers to the wolves. (please load with sarcasm and a John Wayne voice)

Needless to say, the constant and continuous turnover in locomotion and personnel coupled with a disaterous, rigid track led to 0-16.

Martin Mayhew, with Jim Schwartz, strike me as a totally different approach. As I sat watching Pirates of the Caribean last night with the little pink lions it struck me: Martin Mayhewis a pirate! Thus shall he be dubbed henceforth by me as Maywheel the Pirate (with “the Pirate” to be replaced with an appropriate moniker once we see his plans in action).

What? How did I make the jump from Trains to Pirate Ships? Let me expound upon that notion, me hearties. Arrrrr. {squints bad eye and gives pirate look}

First of all, Maywheel comes first and foremost from Martin Mayhew’s “Let’s make a deal” mentality when it comes to running the Lions. Rather than give away his treasure (Shaun Rogers for 6 double cheeseburgers and a super-duper-sized chocolate malt) and toss players he doesn’t have a use for overboard (see long list of players cut where we went “why not try to trade them for something!”) Maywheel likes to deal.

He started out dealing Roy for a 1st & 3rd, which brought Bradon Pettigrew and Derrick Williams. Then he dealt Redding and a 5th for Julian Peterson — so he traded some of his good swag for a great value with those two. But he didn’t stop at selling his valuables. Rather than just run out the plank and walk the guys who were going to get cut off, he instead went to market to see what they would fetch. In that way, he parlayed Jon Kitna, Gerald Alexander, and Ronald Curry into Anthony Henry (A starting CB or Safety), Dennis Northcutt (a dependable slot WR), and Orien Harris (a solid backup DT).

While Maywheel has a destination in mind, hes not stuck on a single track but is free on the Ocean blue in the Detroit Lion– while he knows his destination, he also is conginzant that there are different ways to get there and the path of a Pirate can be dictated by the weather and the authorities; He saw watching Millen what happens when you overadjust, or fail to adjust to conditions. Overreaction causes disaster about as often as no action. So while you can sail through some storms, sometimes you just have to furl sails, drop anchor and pray. (he’ll be doing a lot of that this season)

Fortunately, Jim Schwartz doesn’t need “system specialists” to sail this ship — he just needs talent and he’ll put them scheme wise where they are most likely to succeed.

I expect it to be some time before we really get our sea legs — if ever — with Maywheel at the helm because he is willing to do the unexpected if it will improve the crew Mr. Schwartz needs to send other NFL teams to Davey Jones’ Locker. And that is great news for fans of a franchise that in recent years had become so predictable, that even my 7 year old daughter knew which plays were coming. While his crew is far from complete, the officers (Schwartz, Linehan, Cunningham) show great promise, as do much of the crew (Peterson, Delmas, Foote, Hill, Smith, CJ, Stafford)

He doesn’t follow the convential rules, and he is free wheeling and dealing. Maywheel the Pirate — plunder away! Lions Fans are counting on you! (More Peter & Dilbert Principle tomorrow)

Rating: 8.1/10 (7 votes cast)
Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • Sphinn
  • Facebook
  • Mixx
  • Google
  • E-mail this story to a friend!
  • NewsVine
  • Technorati
  • TwitThis

Tags: , , , , , , , ,, , ,

5 Responses to ““Maywheel the Pirate””

  1. By nubsnobber on Jul 24, 2009

    Hey, seriously thank you for teaching me how to post to the correct article. I felt like an idiot, but at least I now know.

    Pirates…and Schwartz? The Pirates definately belong the to M & M Crew. Hell, half the team WERE Buccaneers, matee’.

    I think the Lions are one big…FARM. The head man, Jeb Mayhew just went and traded a speedy horse (Curry) for a Hog (Orien). A few of the hired hands need a little trainin’, but this is a hands on workin’ farm. This ain’t one of them little farms where all they do is let the ponies prance around and then wash their hooves and shine ‘em up real good.

    No sir’e. We take draft horses and plow fields. We still dig holes for fence posts and pound them in. We bale hay-square bales, not the big round ones with the fancy netting. Cause we ain’t afraid of work down here on the farm.

    Sloppin’ the pigs, milking the cows-it’s what we do best at the Asylum of Allen Park. Cool thing is, Jeb is also an auctioneer when he needs to go wheelin’ and dealin’. And the youngin’, Matthew is learning how to halter break his young bulls so they listen to him. Think he’s a little better at shootin’ than the other cow poke. Dante’s got him a slow wheel from being bucked off the bull too many times at the county fair.

    ‘Nuff said, ’bout life on the farm. Time to say “Good night, John Boy”.

    Rating: 4.0/5 (3 votes cast)
  2. By detfan1979 on Jul 24, 2009

    Not a problem Nubs — it is exactly opposite of my original site so totally understandable.

    This is why we need lots of comments on here – because then when I write a mediocre piece, someone like nubs shows up with a take that is much funnier, and much more entertaining.

    Next time he trades, it’ll be Maywheels Used Cars! Look at this here WR — don’t let those 9 seasons fool you he was only used for special teams on Sunday. Puh-lenty of miles left in those legs! Now you don’t need that sled-pushing DT — hows about we make a deal here son?

    Or – check out this young, impressive Safety. 2nd round draft pick, great potential and we’re only asking a slot WR in return. What? NFL-Fax says he was in an accident? Sure, sure. Nothing major — take a look at him, sure is a beaut and nothing wrong at all… fire up your fan base with this puppy! Why so little? Why look around! I have a S here, a S there, a S way over there — I’m drowning in S and my pain is your gain my friend. I’ll just get that paperwork started while you take him out for a test drive…

    Rating: 4.0/5 (3 votes cast)
  3. By chiefger139 on Jul 25, 2009

    I dont know think we blame millen too much-and the gig is still out at mayhew-who is 0-12 at this point-sure it looks great what hes doing-but we thought millen did great at times too-truth is no one knows how good or bad we will be-but looks like much better-sure hope so-this probably is the biggest what if’s seasons we will ever face

    Rating: 4.0/5 (1 vote cast)
  4. By detfan1979 on Jul 25, 2009

    While it does look a lot better, this piece wasn’t meant to be a total blame on Millen or a validation of Mayhews strategy. I can put Millen’s end results with his actions — so we know how those turned out. Mayhew is taking a different, more felxible tact while at the same time setting up the foundation for consistency within that.

    I like the approach thus far, but you are right this is the biggest IF season thus far. Only time will tell if he will both stick with his plan, and if it will work. Only results on the field over the next couple of seasons will reveal that — until then, we can only speculate IF… Which is, of course, what the IFseason is all about!

    Glad to see you got your comment to post chief. Most of the wrinkles should be ironed out here soon. I’m finishing up some additional work this weekend that will streamline things for me behind the scenes;

    Just like life and the Lions, this blog is always a work in progress — after all, perfection is a concept not a destination.

    Rating: 4.0/5 (1 vote cast)
  5. By nubsnobber on Jul 26, 2009

    MILLEN vs. MAYHEW = SCHWARTZ is a squirrell.

    Seriously. Nubs has lost it. What does that mean? I’ll explain.

    This past weekend was an epiphany of sorts, in the wierdest of places, and with the wierdest of actors.

    I left the perch high atop Nub’s Nob and traveled south to Traverse City. I took my two boys to a skating camp and camped at the State Park in T.C. It was here that I had an amazing experience which started Saturday morning. We awoke from our tent, I grabbed breakfast out of the van and lined it up in the tent. The boys and I went to the shower and came back to eat, only to find a silver dollar-sized hole knawed in our tent. The hole was stuffed with a plastic bag and half a cinnamon-raisin bagel. The black-tailed bandit attempted to remove the bagel bag from the tent, but couldn’t get it through the hole. So, he began to eat the bagel as it was wedged in the hole. (Thanks to my neighbor for watching, laughing and not shoo-ing away the squirrell, but a Bears fan from Illinois, what do you expect). I suspect the squirrell was actually smarter.

    We cleaned up the mess, and clinged duct tape over the hole. We then walked over to a buddy’s tent and found a baby’s shoe pirated by another black-tail bandit.

    Sunday morning found the two more amazing feats. First, I observed a six inch sugar cookie carried up a tree and eaten. This was a mere distraction because simultaneously another squirrell dropped from a tree branch down onto an umbrella. He then began walking counter-clockwise from ridge to ridge and then stopped, only to find the umbrella spin a few more seconds.

    The squirrell then started running quickly for 15 seconds, then stopped. He did three rotations on the top of the umbrella like a kid on a merry-go-round. This was witnessed by 7 other adults, and I was not drinking at 9 am on a Sunday morning. It of course, took me to Tim Bedore’s “When Animals Attack” popular on “Bob and Tom”.

    Which led me to….”Is this an Animal Conspiracy?” Did the stealthy, black tailed thieves march out orders with ninja-like abilities because they were ordered to by a Head Squirrell. Such an unlikely scenario smacking the willing in the head like a Tom and Jerry frying pan. Could this be the workings of an evil genius?

    Kowalski also ponders this in his article of the day:

    Schwartz may be just enough scientific genius / unheralded, under-appreciated coaching marvel that he slides a few games past people this year. With Marinelli, we lost games we shouldn’t. Now, I think the opposite. I think Schwartz will win a few games we have no business even being in, let alone win.

    Bring on FOOTBALL. Bring on pre-season. What did that squirrell just put in the Kool-Aid?

    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

No comments: